When you’re a person who trust people easily, you end up like a convenience store
You’re open 24 hours, and you’re expected to give everything you can offer
It’s not like it’s not what you’re already doing, but you know what they say about giving – they will always want more.
When you open up to people, you let them see you naked
Figuratively, but it feels a lot like you’re literally naked so there’s not much difference
besides the thin spread of cloth separating you from them.
It’s not so hard to trust people with everything about yourself, especially when you have nothing to hide.
You do have a black hole inside that no one completely knows about
but it’s also because they don’t care enough to ask, so that’s fine.
But the rest of you, you give out like free stubs with every purchase of a piece of your heart.
When you trust, you also learn to love them one by one
Maybe not as much as the other, but they’ll leave part of them in your cash register and roll of receipts you just can’t get rid of.
But sometimes being open all the time leaves you with nothing.
People will come and go and take with them whatever they want, even parts of you you told them not to touch
People can also use whatever you have that you so wholly offered, and smack dab it right in your face
People can make fun of you and ruin you and leave you
Because maybe, you can’t really take it out on them
Because you opened yourself up without them asking you to
They might have mentioned it that one time, but they didn’t force you.
So you blame it to yourself.
How can you be so naive?
How can you be so stupid? I think that’s a better term.
How can you be so open.
But maybe you were open because you know, you would never do any of it to anyone else
Maybe you were open because you want people to understand you, and not use them against you
Maybe you were open because you don’t want to pretend
Maybe you were open because you want them to embrace every piece of you and not grab them,
and pin it down to the floor and crush it until you feel like you’re gasping for air
Because when you’re open, and they decide to stick everything to you,
it will feel like you’re running out of breath
you end up shutting yourself close.