I used to be afraid of heights
The distance from a safe ground and nothing to hold on to for support,
just visualizing it can already get me dizzy and feeling like the whole world’s turning dark
and I can only wait until I could no longer breathe.
But then I got to know you.
And I could not stop trying to reach every high peak of buildings I see and imagining myself on top of every mountain I find in google
I sit on every corner and every edge, with my feet swinging midair that it felt a lot like flying
I duck my head out from windows just to feel how cold it is when you’re in a high place than it is when you’re on the ground
I once fell from at least 4 feet high and got bruised and had a broken arm for months
But I needed that
I needed to know I could still feel
Because after I fell for you, I settled.
I settled for physical pain and faced my fear of heights
Because it is much more bearable than having a broken heart that cannot be saved by pain relievers and band aids that cannot heal this kind of scar.